100 Days

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Today marks 100 days since I made the decision to cut alcohol from my life! Yes, the very same girl known to tear up when the bars were closing has officially become a teetotaler ☺ While it isn’t easy, it is the most rewarding decision that I’ve ever made for myself. I’m loving life at a level I never thought possible and able to see stuff about myself, my kids, my friends, and, well, just about everything that I was blind to in the past. As of this morning, I’ve also saved $1,492.86 and 43,907 calories as a result of this decision! (Yep, there’s an app for that!) 


I’m not interested in labels. There was a time when the big “A-word” (alcoholic, for those of you not obsessed with this stuff like I am! Bless your hearts!) was a big deal to me, as if being one constituted the only conceivable reason one would ever choose to “punish” themselves in this way. What I discovered though was that as I got further and further away from my drinking days, the extent to which I had a “problem” mattered less and less. My life is fuller without this one thing and so I’ve made the decision not to do it anymore and I don’t have to be “powerless” to it or suffering external consequences from it to make that choice. 


I could go on and on about what led me to make this decision, my thoughts on addiction and recovery, what I realized about those nightly glasses of wine (yes, I’m admitting it – nightly), learning to live without something that our society considers so central to fun, romance, celebration, relaxation, fill in the eff’ing blank, and how my thinking has evolved since making the decision to live alcohol free. For those interested, I’m writing about these things A LOT, along with my experiences of trying to live a cleaner and fuller life, in a blog that I’m currently putting together. So far I have loads of content but have a lot to learn about the technical side of putting together a website. I’m also launching a business in the next few days that ties in with this decision. I considered launching both of those things in conjunction with this “coming out” but chose not to. This is big, hairy, and vulnerable enough on its own for me for today - letting you all in on a decision I’ve made that feels subversive at times, that I know some people snicker or roll their eyes at, and that, frankly, some people aren’t supportive of or don’t understand. 


It’s important to me though that this be out there. First, I don’t want to have the same awkward conversation with every single one of you when I order my mocktail ;) (No, I’m not pregnant! That’s just the way I look now!) But, second, there’s a huge and ugly cloud that surrounds our society’s relationship with alcohol (SO excited to expound on this further on my blog!!!). There’s a stigma around becoming addicted to an addictive substance that is doing all of us (except the alcohol industry) a serious disservice. It’s important to me to do my small part to debunk that idea, to be loud and proud about what I’m doing, and to be a resource to anyone else that may be questioning their own relationship with alcohol.


I love all of you and I hope that you’ll support me in this decision. Please don’t think that I judge any of you for not making the same choice or that I don’t still want to be a part of the same life I had before making this decision. It wasn’t worth it for me to drink anymore and that’s really it. If you’ll have me, I’ll be there and I still want to laugh, say stupid things (although maybe not so many that I regret), perform Guns’ and Roses interpretive dances and stay up till 1am. These are all things that I still love. I’ll just be doing them La Croix in hand! Thanks for reading and I hope that you’ll wish me well in this new adventure!